King of the Mountain

King of the Mountain

When I was in elementary school we played a game we called "King of the Mountain." Everyone both girls and boys were invited to play. The object was to fight your way to the top of the dirt pile and become "King of the Mountain" until someone dethroned you. Few other girls attempted to play the game. They were content to watch from a distance. Not me. I knew I had what it took to become King.

The game began in a wild dash to the "mountain" with pushing, shoving and tripping. I was fast but never fast enough to be the first to reach the top. So, I would have to fight my way through the crowd like the rest. One boy, usually the fastest, made it to the top of the hill and immediately began defending his territory.

On one particular day while playing "King of the Mountain" I found myself really kicking some serious butt. I was totally unstoppable. I had in some miraculous moment become the Incredible Hulk. I must have been pissed off that day and was taking my anger out on the boys. At any rate, the boy at the top could see the fire in my eyes and the way I was throwing the other boys off the mountain like rag dolls.

Suddenly, he yelled," Stop that girl! Don't let her get to the top! No stupid girl can be King of the Mountain!" For a moment everyone stopped. Even I stopped. Then it happened, every boy came at me. They grabbed me and carried me off the mountain and threw me to the ground. A mighty cheer went up! They had won!

I sat in a heap of dust with tears of humiliation running down my cheeks. The boys were laughing and congratulating each other. They were all standing on the mountain top together laughing at the girl in the dirt. The girls who were watching only shook their heads as if to say," dumb girl."

Fast forward now from an elementary playground to a District Council Meeting were an ordination service is taking place. Soon three young men will become Ordained Ministers with the Assembly of God denomination. Among them, two former Bible school classmates and my husband. I had graduated recently with the three ordination candidates from the same Bible College with the same Bible degree. Of the four I had the second highest grade point average and had graduated with honors. Yet, I was not allowed on the mountain that night. Instead I was seated in the front row among the wives of the ordination candidates. The other two wives were beaming with pride while I was fighting back bitter tears of disappointment.

Just a few weeks before, I was told by the District Officials that I didn't need ordination since my husband was being ordained. Never mind that I wanted to be ordained, had worked my butt off to be ordained and deserved to be ordained! Yet, no one stood up for me. Not my husband, not my fellow classmates, not even the ordained women in my District. It was "King of the Mountain" all over again.

The humiliation I felt on the playground as a small girl was multiplied a hundred times that night during the Ordination service. The pain it woke up in me only grew with the additional injustices, discrimination, sexism, homophobia and rejection I endured at the hands of the church for over 30 years. A church where a Male Deity is seated on the throne....and no stupid girl is ever going to be King of the Mountain!